Ok, see, I wouldn’t date this chick. She can’t get none of my time. Not that she’s ugly although she is but the mere fact that her arms are bigger than mine and that’s just frightening to me. I have respect for female bodybuilders but that doesn’t mean I want to date the ones that look like this. I like some tone on a woman but I’d be afraid to go out with this girl for fear she might beat me up if I said the wrong thing. Looks like she’s had some enhancements to her chest and those look like bricks. She’s hard looking and she might be a nice person inside but I’m such a shallow and superficial type of guy, that doesn’t flow with me. No award, nothing. I just want to feel safe. lol

Now that’s more like it, there’s nothing more hotter than chicks hanging out next to cars wearing skimpy bikinis. This is what I live for. All of these babes are smoking hot too! See what I mean. Now can you see the difference from the Bikini Hags and these cuties. You have to admit these chicks smoke those Bikini Hags out of the water. Anyways, these chicks are in Texas and I just might have to pay a visit up there to see how hot the girls are in person. Looking at these hot babes has just made my day. No award, but they’re hot.

Ok, why am I calling them bikini hags? Well just look at them. Most of them look old, used and worn out in the face and look who they’re standing next too. Some fake Elvis looking dude. A few of them have on so much makeup it looks like they’re clowns on vacation. They’re just not at all attractive. They kind of look like they’re in their late 30′s so they’re probably actually in their late 40′s going on 50′s because women know how to make themselves look really young these days but it’s not cutting it with me. No award, no way.

Whoa these Swedish bikini blondes look as plastic as they come. Of course, they are all wearing blonde wigs so are they all really true bondes? Hmmmm, inquiring minds want to know. They kind of remind me of the women on the Stepford Wives. They look like clones of each other that are brainless and mindless, although that’s not a really bad thing. I would date a dumb blonde in a second. I’m not that picky. As a matter of fact, I’m not into smart girls because then they pretty much have a mind of what I want to do at the end of the night. Most dumb chicks don’t have a clue so it’s a surprise lol These Swedish babes look dumb as rocks but I’d still date them, don’t get me wrong.

Well she’s back by popular demand. The saggy old lady in a bikini. We received so many wonderful comments about her fashionable attire. I must admit I had nightmares for about a week after looking at this picture. Hey it looks like great-grandma has a crowd following her around at the beach. I never knew that grannies could be such attention hogs but this one looks like she loves it. I’m just blown by her mentality that she really think she looks hot in that bikini. I’m totally in shock and maybe a little in awe of her nerve. Anyways, she’s getting the NASTIEST LOOKING GRANNY IN A BIKINI AWARD. I gotta give it to her.

Oh look how cute this dog is dressed up in a cherry bikini. She looks like her name could be Muffin or something like that. Kind of looks like one of those dogs Paris Hilton carries around with her. Well, to critique this cute bikini wearing dog, I’d give her a 9 out of a 10 because she’s really wearing it well. The suit looks clean, neat and form fitting. I like the cherry trim around the red bikini bottoms. Not all dogs look good in swimwear but this one does. I’d like to give her the CUTEST CANINE IN A BIKINI AWARD. Bow Wow!

Hubba hubba, check out these sexy Hawaiian Tropic babes just hanging out. They’re all blondes too! How lucky can you get with that. Ok, why not let’s have our own bikini contest like we normally do. Let’s go from left to right.

#1 – She’s cute but looks like my sister.

#2 – Kind of looks like Britney but hot body.

#3 – Nice abs.

#4 – Looks a little cougar-ish

#5 – A cute shortie

And the winner is…..#5, I think she has the cutest face out of them all but #3 takes second because of those tight abs. So #5 gets the CUTEST BLONDE IN A RED BIKINI AWARD. I’d go out on a date with her. Hopefully she doesn’t mind going dutch.

I love it when I find pictures of babes taped up in duct tape. It’s better than eating rocky road ice cream with fudge syrup on top. Here’s a cutie that has made her very own bikini duct tape fashion and I must say it looks fabulous. She really knows which parts of her body to accentuate and I just hope that she is hairless in some parts because removing that tape can be quite painful if she isn’t. She looks kinda hairy by the amount of hair that is on the top of her head so let’s just hope she visits the waxing salon regularly, ok. We’ve seen quite a few duct taped beauties but I think she’s the best by far so let’s give her the BEST DUCT TAPE BIKINI BABE AWARD of the week. She deserves it. Well done.

Hey here’s what bikini babes and models used to look like back in the 1950′s and 1960′s. This one especially is the actress Jayne Mansfield. For all of you non baby boomers who don’t know who she is, let me explain. Ms. Mansfield was a Marilyn Monroe wanna be. The studios would pick her for roles that Marilyn didn’t want or they couldn’t get her for. She wanted to be Marilyn really bad but she did eventually make a name for herself anyway in small roles. She ended up marrying this German guy and produced a baby girl named Mariska Hargitay who is the star of the tv show Law & Order SVU. Yeah that’s her mom. She looks like her dad mostly. Well Ms. Mansfield’s story doesn’t end well. She died in a horrible car accident back in 1967 but her legacy lives on through her daughter. See now there goes some bikini Hollywood history. Next……

Hey folks, I thought I would start off this week’s Killer Bikini Babes with a hot photo of a bikini trio. These cute babes look really sexy just laying on top of each other like that. Boy oh boy. They all look like they could be asian or hawaiian or something and that’s even better. I especially like the one that’s laying on the top, she looks like she’s falling asleep right there. I don’t blame her because I could fall asleep on top of these hot cute bikini babes too. Let’s start them off with a nice reward. HOTTEST BIKINI TRIO AWARD of the week. I’d love to blow this picture up and put it on my wall like I did when I was younger.